How to Shower in “Real Life” Mode
This route comes from a community Steam guide that treats taking a shower as if it were a Deadlock match, chaining real game item names into a step-by-step build. It is a joke guide, not official advice — the humor is that a completely mundane action is described with the same seriousness as a competitive loadout. Below is the full route rewritten in English, with the item references and wordplay explained so it actually makes sense.
Before You Start: The “Loadout”
The guide insists you need a specific set of tools to pull this off. In Deadlock terms, that means:
- Knockdown — used to “shut down” your computer.
- Majestic Leap — used to launch yourself out of the chair.
- Veil Walker, Extra Stamina, and Sprint Boots — the movement package for getting to the bathroom fast.
- Warp Stone — a quick repositioning tool.
- Refresher — the item you finally “use” on the shower itself.
None of these are literal requirements, of course. They are stand-ins for the ordinary actions of logging off, standing up, and walking to the bathroom.
Step-by-Step Walkthrough
Shutting everything down
The first step is to picture switching off your PC “with Knockdown.” That is the setup for the whole bit: in Deadlock, Knockdown is a hard-disable tool, so the guide jokes that it is what you use to bring your computer to a halt. Once that is done, you are “out” and free to move.
Getting out of the chair
Next comes pressing Majestic Leap. The guide frames hauling yourself up out of the chair as a real challenge, which is why a big jump item is the “correct” pick. If you managed the first two steps, the guide warns that the hardest part is still ahead.
Buying the movement items
Before you travel, “buy” the mobility package: Veil Walker, ideally Extra Stamina, and Sprint Boots. This is the classic move-speed setup — the idea being you want to cover the distance to your destination as quickly as possible.
Slipping through the door
With the loadout on, you “shift through the door.” This matches how movement and teleport-style items let you reposition almost instantly on the Deadlock map, so the guide treats leaving the room as a fast, fluid move rather than walking.
Reaching the “Bathroom” location
From there you “use Warp Stone” and “fly on a magic carpet” to the nearest location — which the guide labels the “Bathroom.” It reads like a map objective you are rotating to, complete with a fast travel tool to get there.
The final payoff
In the bathroom, the guide says you “use Refresher on your shower” and enjoy a fast heal. Refresher is a burst-regeneration item, so the joke is that a hot shower restores you the same way. That is the entire “combo”: disable, mobilize, reposition, heal.
The Translation Wordplay You’ll Miss
A big part of the guide’s humor does not survive translation literally, so here is the key pun: the Russian word душ means “shower,” while the plural души means “souls.” Deadlock has a deny mechanic built around souls, so the author deliberately clarifies that they are not talking about “the souls you need to deny” — they mean the shower you wash yourself with. Keep that in mind and the title’s joke lands: this is shower, not souls.